The Rock

Installing Windows 2000 Service Pack 3 has just turned my laptop into a doorstop. It comes up with a message about ntoskrnl.exe needing to be replaced and it mentioned something about not cleaning out the raingutters before the last rainy season. I feel like a delinquent. Booting from the original CD has become a frustrating cyclical conversation with my computer:
me: Alright computer I'll try 'Repair my installation...'
the computer: Yeah, we are going to need that Emergency Repair Disk we begged you to make upon installation.
me: Well I know your smart, you're a computer for God's sake, but my laptop didn't even come with a floppy drive. What do I do now smarty-pants?
the computer: Please insert Emergency Rescue Disk or F3 to reboot
me: You aren't going to be of any help whatsoever are you?
the computer: No, not really. Please press F3 until you find the right repair procedure via Google. It won't be on microsoft.com, don't even bother looking there.
me: Do you mind if I cry?
the computer: Be my guest. Please press F3.

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