Jul 31, 2001

I don't think your ready for spaghetti...

If you, like me, are constantly wondering what the hell those youngsters are singing about and getting the words mixed up in the process then you need Am I Right.com. They list commonly misheard lyrics and their corrections. An example:
Destiny's Child's, 'Bootylicious'
Misheard Lyrics: I dont think you ready for spagehtti
Correct Lyrics: I don't think you ready for this jelly
You'll never be wrong again.

Jul 30, 2001

Prize inside!
In my usual groggy morning haze I began pouring myself a bowl of Wheaties. Having just returned from another weekend away at my in-laws in Santa Cruz I wondered whether ants had once again infiltrated the cupboards in our absence. The coast appeared to be clear. No ants in sight.

While hovering to pour milk on the delicious wheaty goodness a LARGE spider popped out of the bowl I had just poured. There was squashing and disposing of perfectly good(?) cereal as I imagined the sons and daughters of the now deceased spider cavorting in the flakes.

I am thinking of permanently switching to yogurt.

Jul 27, 2001

Mariah in the hospital, AOL taking on Microsoft...
when will the madness end?

Mariah should have been checked into the hospital much earlier... she has obviously lost her mind. From her website, Mariah-isms.

If you thought for a second that Microsoft's Hailstorm / Passport technology would go unchallenged in the marketplace: AOL announces they are working own their own offering..

Jul 25, 2001

More Webby madness
Life is strange.

Jul 24, 2001

If I didn't have that spoiler on my car I might just blow away
You must visit the Hall of Shame to see those adorable cars that have been decked out with racing stripes that have as good a shot at being taken seriously as our president at a MENSA meeting. Most of these cars have a rear air foil or spoiler of some type that is hideously large. Allison and I have taken to calling them 'pagoda' cars because it looks like there should be some sort of religious ceremony going on under the wing.
[link via 37signals]

Jul 20, 2001

Sam Donaldson, full disclosure and worms

I've had some crazy weeks before but none that ever involved the aforementioned Sam Donaldson and worms before. I attended the Webbys with Ev on Wednesday night. Blogger was a nominee in the personal site(?) category. Ev and I had sufficiently talked ourselves out of the fact that we would win and succeeded. Blogger did not win. Best line of the night was Swell.com's five word acceptance: ' Sam Donaldson. Dude, gnarly toupee. '

The awards were fun though. Where else can you meet so many people behind the sites that you visit or admire on a daily basis? While Ev was being interviewed by Sam for the ABC News webcast, I had the chance to meet Heather Champ in person, only ever having swapped email before. As one would expect, I was immediately told to hold still for a mirror shot. When the actual shot makes it onto the site I will link it. I met Derek, Mschmidt from k10k, Pud who told me 'you are a sick man' when I told him I read his site often, Lance, Ernie, and many more characters.

In the interest of full disclosure, for my future senate bid, I must share a few photos taken by Kevin-John Black of events that I never really thought would transpire. There was not really much room to snicker as previously thought. Both pictures are of me, Ev, Tiffany Shlain (founder and organizer of the Webbys), and of course Halcyon (who in reality didn't appear to be cocky nor a bastard, though I didn't really ask about the bastard part). [ Picture 1 ] [ Picture 2 ]. In picture two, Kevin-John asked us to look 'gutsy' for what it's worth and no Ev wasn't drunk. So Tiffany let's get together again soon, just have whatever project I am working on nominated for the 2002 awards. Thanks.

Coming down off the awards night bliss, I was slammed with a power outage at home and then the dreaded IIS worm attack. Tip o' the hat to Matt Wilson for noticing that the 'Chinese' had hacked musicrag and pointing me to the CERT site. Next week, no awards shows and no worms on the calendar. See you there.

Jul 17, 2001

What if I just wear some wild boxers?
The official Webby Awards site is no help whatsoever. I am looking for a clue on what to wear tomorrow night and found only this: ' Dress code: Gutsy '. Hmm. I don't know about Gutsy. While I am a fan of orange and pink (uh, sometimes), I think I may have to go with this look. If you are dressing 'Gutsy', I will admire from a distance... and probably snicker. Especially if you are this guy.
It's time for popcorn and $7 dollar sodas
I have been watching very little TV . I am on a movie binge. Maybe my recent foray into digital video has sparked the interest or maybe my new, larger TV has ruined my eyeballs for normal TV. I need everything in Dolby Surround and widescreen format now that I have an ok TV. If it doesn't have 'extra deleted scenes' and 'directorial commentary' I have an aversion to it. With such videophile lust you would think I would watch better content however.

Here is a bit of background and then the stinkers. I am a comedy lover. Jim Carrey, Adam Sandler, Chris Farley, Kevin Smith and the like. Pretty low brow. Essentially any type of culture and sophistication I try and exude in the rest of my life is left by the wayside when my funny bone gets the remote. I can't help it. For our first date back almost 10 years ago now, I took Allison to see Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey. I thought it was funny. What is wrong with me? Anyway, this week Blockbuster has seen a lot of business from the Shellens. I finally watched Best of Show, which was great. The real upside however is that maybe Allison will want to watch the Spinal Tap DVD that has still been in shrinkwrap since Christmas with me now, since she liked Best of Show as well.

Then the picks got sour. Allie and I figured, Dude, Where's my Car? can't be all bad right? We both like and own American Pie and Road Trip. Stiffler's in 'Dude' as well as Ashton Kutcher from 'That's 70s show', so let's do it. It was not at all funny, and I like Dumb and Dumber. I think the worst part was that the movie had horrible, horrible sound effects. Like the whosh, pop, bang that you would expect on an episode of Scooby Doo. The other part is that Stifler doesn't play an a**hole like he does when he is Stifler. It was as if he were going for a very stoned Bill or Ted character and threw in a dose of Screech. Avoid it like the plauge.

Second stinker, Nurse Betty. Chris Rock, Renee Zellwieger, Greg Kinnear... who would have thought they could screw up with this cast. This movie was 110 minutes long, it could have been finished in 70 minutes and should have been. The pacing sucked. Chris Rock and Morgan Freeman were supposed to be hitmen. The director had these long dragging sequences of dialogue between the two where we we were to pick up some insight as to what made them tick. Who cares? Get your Tarantino fantasies out of the way and finish the damn flick already. Seriously, if I had the time I would resplice this movie from the master tapes and would turn it into a decent movie. Whew, stinky... if you do watch this one I would keep my finger on the fast forward button.

At least my comedic movie future is looking bright. There are a couple of films that look pretty good coming out soon. Made, starring Jon Favereau and Vince Vaughn of Swingers fame is opening around the country in limited markets. In late August, Kevin Smith's Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back will be out, thus completing the New Jersey Trilogy of Clerks, Mallrats and now JSBSB (or was Chasing Amy supposed to be in that trilogy?). On Friday I saw Legally Blond which is a good one for those of you who are still with me at the end of this very long movie rant. Like Clueless but at Harvard. Even the previews for American Pie 2 are looking kind of funny and I thought that one would be a bomb. I guess well see, I may never learn.

Jul 12, 2001

Things that would have been helpful to know YESTERDAY!
' My User Interface Design Work Could Have Saved WebVan ' by Jon Mikelonis. I went to high school with this guy, though he was a few years older than me. I seem to remember him being surrounded by many a fine betty back in the day. Now he appears to be a great UI designer. Proving that Fremont was/is a hot bed of raw talent. Did I ever mention that I also went to high school with Kristi Yamaguchi? Here's hoping that one day Kristi and Jon will be saying ' Did I ever mention that I went to school with Jason Shellen?'
Happy Birthday Allison! Maybe you would like to send her a birthday postcard, yes?

Jul 11, 2001

Remember when you shot the Governor? That was cool.
So here is where all the fantastic content about how I have been using Blogger on shellen.com for one year would go, and the retrospective. Didn't happen. First one of my clients was acquired by a large tech firm requiring me to do some scrambling and then there have been the intermittent gaps of shellen.com actually having connectivity [I think my provider didn't pay their bill to their provider] and just general everyday shiznat has gotten in the way. That said, I really am planning to have a little retrospective going on here soon. To get you in the mood here was my first day of blogging from one year ago. Makes me misty, in a manly way of course.

Jul 10, 2001

A bit behind schedule
I have been saving all kinds of good content in the hopes of having a spare moment to post it but that doesn't look like it's going to happen. For now here are a few things from my recent vacation to Lake Tahoe. A somewhat crummy video in low light of a bear attacking our garbage cans [sadly, you will need Real Player]. Um, you can keep your tents, I like solid walls in bear country.

Here are a couple of pictures from this book, Taming and Training Cockatiels, I found at the cabin. I don't know why this book has me in stiches but I think it has to do with the wacky photography. Here is a cockatiel undergoing a 'vent check'. Personally I don't think the bird is too happy to be having his or her 'vent' checked. This picture, I am convinced, is the author of the book at a cockatiel rave. I am not sure if she is in the 'chill room' trying to smoke the bird or what but it's not right I tell you. It's not right.

DNS stands for Damn Network Solutions
Wacky errors for Blogger today, if you have trouble pulling up blogger.com try for the next few days.

Jul 7, 2001

I'm back and tired
I am hitting the life/snooze button until Monday though, so lets pretend I am still gone shall we?

Jul 5, 2001

Have I mentioned that I'm not here?
I guess I forgot to mention that I am on vacation this week up in Lake Tahoe. I have footage of a vicious bear attack on our trashcan, fireworks over the lake from last night and pictures of a really interesting book called 'The Taming and Raising of Cockatiels'. I always find crap like that on vacation at the cabin. Last year it was a dolphin head on a stick with a jaw you could open and shut from a trigger on the bottom that we nicknamed 'Blaine'. Look for the new finds early next week right here.

I have just started Joseph Heller's Catch-22 for the first time. It has taken me about 10 years to get around to finally reading it. So far... it is weird. It just got weirder and now I am getting used to the weirdness. For those of you who have read Catch-22 a small inside joke, I think that you are all crazy.

I am going to spend the rest of my vacation down at the lake avoiding thunderstorms and hoping the alarm company doesn't call me. See you soon.