Ten things you never hear people say...
  1. That extra lane they spent $5 million on has cut my commute in half!
  2. I am glad we elected So-and-So. He/she has made such a difference.
  3. I wish Microsoft made every piece of software, then everything would work well together.
  4. These hundred dollar bills make great kindling.
  5. My car? Yeah, it really never gives me any trouble. I just keep it charged and she gives me 500 - 600 miles.
  6. I don't have enough magazine subscriptions. I wish someone would send me an offer to take up a new magazine.
  7. It's like that company forgot about me. I bought 1 item from them in 1997 and I have never seen an email from them since.
  8. My cellphone works really well. I never have trouble getting a signal. It's just like a land line.
  9. Computer? No thats OK, I have this pencil.
  10. My dentist recommended that I drink more soda.

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